Какие бывают программисты


Нашел веселый текст. Предлагаю ознакомится.

Java-программист

Если задать ему вопрос, он будет долго думать, и не факт, что вы дождетесь ответа. Остальных программистов считают за детей. Считают, что все нормальные проекты пишутся на Java, все ненормальные - на других языках. Знают много непонятных слов: паттерны, синглтоны, кейсы и т.д. У него самый мощный компьютер, много оперативной памяти, он всегда удивляется, когда ему говорят, что его программа медленно работает. Эру начала программирования отсчитывает с 1993 года. Разработку программы начинает с выбора готовых классов и изучения их API, порой это занимает больше времени, чем разработка. Не верит, что программа, которая занимает десять экранов, может быть написана в 2 строки на Perl. С гордостью говорит, что программы на Java могут работать на под любой ОС, хотя сам точно знает, что это не так. Любимая пословица: “Тише едешь, дальше будешь”.

MS-программист

Раньше считал, что все нормальные программы пишутся под платформу Windows, теперь ревниво косится на Java-программиста. Не понимает, как можно писать программы без Visual Studio, между программистами, использующими vi и доисторическими мамонтами разницы не видит вообще. Клавиатуру использует редко, так как основной рабочий инструмент - это мышь с 5 кнопками. На рабочем столе всегда валяются 8 дисков последней Visual Studio и 40 дисков из подписки MSDN, которые он любит показывать заказчикам. Его “Hello World” обязательно требует пакет .NET framework на 23 МБ. То, что Windows-программы могут работать под UNIX, считает сказками, приводя сотни достаточно убедительных доводов.

Perl-программист

В рабочее время читает шутки про Java- и MS-программистов, так как свои две строчки в день он уже написал. Редко пишет тесты, т.к. верит, что в 2 строках нельзя сделать ошибок в принципе. Любит подколоть Java-программиста по поводу тормозов его программы (не случайно логотипом Java выбрана чашка кофе), который от таких шуток начинает судорожно биться в истерике. Его программирование заключается в том, чтобы найти подходящий модуль на CPAN и написать к нему wrapper. Если нужного модуля не находит, сильно расстраивается и идет на свой любимый сайт читать анекдоты. Потом пишет свой модуль и отправляет его на CPAN.

По мне так очень точно. Все стереотипы на лицо.

Кстати, а если вы уже устали программировать и живете на Украине, предлагаю съездить в Донецк. Там, говорят, есть замечательные донецкие индивидуалки. А что еще нужно после трудной и изматывающей работы?

Удачи!

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